Some mornings, waking up can feel more like coming to rather than easing into the day. As soon as your eyes open, you’re right back in the game, taking on the weight of the world as if that’s your responsibility.
It’s perfectly normal to feel this way; many of us have experienced the pressure of carrying heavy burdens without knowing how to let them go.
When you’ve established yourself as the strong one, people stop checking in. They assume you can handle it all and that it’s easy for you. But let’s be clear: it’s never as simple as it looks. You’ve just mastered the art of making the struggle appear effortless.
A Visual for Your Nervous System
Picture this: you’re navigating your day with an invisible weight strapped to your back. Others may see you as thriving, but you know the tension is there, in your shoulders, your jaw, and anywhere else that feels tight.
Your body has been holding its breath, waiting for permission to pause, yet the thought of stopping can feel daunting, maybe even a bit unsettling.
Have you considered who you are when you’re not “the strong one”? What happens when you take a moment to rest and realize no one is there to pick up where you left off? Many underestimate how uncomfortable it can be to embrace vulnerability when survival has been your primary focus.
Let’s create some space for that breath you’ve been holding. You don’t have to earn the right to be gentle with yourself, nor do you need to prove you deserve peace. You shouldn’t have to face a breakdown to allow yourself a break.
Instead of offering another tool or a checklist to “fix” everything, let me share something more straightforward and nurturing:
💡 Close your eyes for just five seconds. This isn’t about meditation or ticking off tasks; this is simply about being present.
Allow yourself to settle into your chair. Let your arms hang relaxed. Feel the weight of your body reconnecting with the ground, just be here, without any pressure.
This is the essence of somatic practice. This is how we begin to repair our nervous systems. Healing looks like this, authentic and unburdened by expectation.
Three Confident Reminders When You Feel You “Should Be Stronger”
1. Just because you handle everything with grace doesn’t mean it’s not heavy. If no one offers support, that doesn’t diminish your need for it. You absolutely deserve help, and it’s more than okay to express that.
2. Rest isn’t something you earn; it’s your birthright. If your body is signaling that it needs a break right now, that’s all the permission you need to take it.
3. You’re not behind; you’re in recovery from all the times you felt pushed to your limits. That’s a testament to your resilience and wisdom.
A Note from Someone Who Knows
I’ve been “the reliable one,” and I still sometimes catch myself slipping into that role of smiling, solving problems, and keeping everything together. However, I’ve learned the importance of checking in with myself first. If my nervous system is screaming for attention, I’ll listen.
It took practice, real and sometimes uncomfortable practice, but the more I embrace rest and self-compassion, the more I understand that I was never meant to shoulder this burden alone. That was never the plan.
Here’s a Quote to Keep You Grounded:
“Strength is knowing when to hold it together and when to let yourself fall apart.”
You absolutely deserve rest. You have valid needs. You’re allowed to be human. Keep moving forward with confidence and gentleness towards yourself.
If this message resonates with you, share it with someone else who’s been holding it together for too long. Remind them they’re not alone and that existing in survival mode doesn’t have to be their forever.
Ready to Dive Deeper?
You’ll find short, simple tools to help your body slow down, including positive affirmations, breathing exercises, and calming movements.
Embrace your healing journey; it can be slow and messy, but it’s yours to command.
Best
Vee
